My world is falling apart!?

8. January 2009 edit

  • I am in an 8 month relationship with a very dangerous man. He is involed in a dangerous gang, one of those true hard core gangs. I know you think it sounds ridiculous for me being with him but it was a rebound relationship which i got into too deeply. I was engaged to a firefighter last december & i found out just before the wedding that 2 weeks before we where due to be married on his stag night he slept with an older woman due to alot of alcohol. I was heartbroken we had been together for 8 years, im 25 & he is 27. My current boyfriend(28) is really into me, always kissing me, telling me he loves me and all that. What he does scares me so much, im scared for my safety. I know that i brought it on myself but i didnt think i would be so stupid. Now i feel terrified to leave him. He has become obsessed with me, so my friends say. The thing is my ex fiance asked me to go back to him. He is back in my life through my brother who works with him. I never stoped loving him, but i felt my world was destroyed when i found out about the stag night.
    Please help me with some advice
    and no sarcasic remarks please i dont need them
    Thank you so much!


  • If you don't love this new guy then you have to leave him especially if you fear for your safety. no one should have to be in a relationship where they are scared. Do you live with this guy? If you do you can have a police officer escort you to his home to get your belongings. It probably would be a good idea to break up with him in a public place. Be truthful and sincere with him. As for your ex who cheated on you he needs to regain your trust and prove to you that he's in it for the long haul this time. Don't rush back into a relationship with him. This is a second chance so start slow by going out on dates again.


  • The real question is he dangerous around you, and how does he make you feel? The guy you where with before obviously doesn't deserve you because he wouldn't of slept with another woman even if he had too much to drink. I say even though the guy may be in a gang, you have to see how that affects your life and if you are ok with that for now, then just keep progressing. However if you feel that you are in danger then i would get out of the relationship.


  • if you dont love the guy you are with currently then you shouldnt waste your time or his. If he is obsessed with you then just becareful dont be at places by yourself.

    if you really love your fiance and he is not alcoholic or a womanizer then i dont see a reason why you shouldnt give it another try


  • My daughter went through that. She fell in love with a guy with gang ties. His whole family had ties to gangs. After a few months, she realized that being with him was dangerous and that she needed to get away from him. To make a long story short, my husband and I paid for a one way ticket to live with family in another state and the deal was that she wasn't to tell him an address, phone number, or town. He knew that state she was going to, but that was it. After a few months of getting away from him, she regained the strength and confidence to come back home and when he found out she was back, she was able to stand her ground and stay away from him. Now she is with someone who is so much better. Sometimes getting some distance away can put things into better perspective and you can get your feet more solidly on the ground and find the strength you need to move on. Good luck!


  • You definitely need to leave this guy but be extremely careful. Make a plan first. The most dangerous part of leaving a man like this is the actual leaving part. Statistically, that's when there's the most abuse and (I hate to say this) homicides occur. Make sure you notify the police and try and get into a women's shelter. They can protect you. Good luck to you.


  • if he's dangerous, leave him. And you should forget your ex too. you deserve better.







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