I can fight, but yet i don't want to....?

8. January 2009 edit

  • i train in martial arts (tkd) and i do love fighting, but i think fighting for the wrong cause is just stupid. I only fight wen i'm in tournament or believe there is something worth fighting for..... like protecting someone.
    schoolyard fighting is not for me, i don't want to kill anyone or seriously injure them, i hate it when the people who intimidate you punch you or grab you on the arm with their nails or try to kick u in the balls. =.=
    I mean, self defence wise, its kinda - defend urself against all costs, but when there ur friends..... i don't wanna knock em out and destroy relations.... sometimes i guess there just kidding, but i dunno
    i always end up in situations like this, i can fight, yet i don't want to
    wat do i do?


  • They're probably thinking they are proving something hitting the "karate guy." A lot of martial artists get this at some point in their life, especially of word of your training gets out.

    I had to deal with this when I started just after high school. My friends didn't ever hurt me but they would often push to see what I would do. I told them I could show them, but they wouldn't like it and our friendship was more important than showing off.

    Without seeing anything, their imaginations came up with worse things than I could do at the time and they stopped bothering me about it.

    The next phase is the occassional buddy who thinks you're his personal body guard that'll bail him out if a fight happens. I learned very fast to avoid these situations and distance myself from those kinds of people.

    For your situation, I would recommend you just ask them to not nut you or grab you with their nails (are these even guys doing that?!). Tell them it's not cool.

    Good Luck.


  • I think it's quite obvious you need to make a statement. When people try to intimidate you, they're usually afraid of you. Use that fear against them. When they grab your arm, come with a left cross and stop just millimeters from their face, letting them know what you could have done.


  • ASK them to please stop. If they continue, TELL them very firmly to stop. If they continue still, MAKE them stop... That's my little force continuum. If it's a friend and you don't want to hurt them then a quick pop to a pressure point should get them to stop. Or a light tap to the head.


  • just do a sissy fight thing were u hold ur arms in place and move ur wrists.. or pretend to karate chop...


  • I believe you truly understand what martial arts are all about. You have the ability to defend yourself and those you care about, yet you have a sense of mind to realize that other solutions to problems do exist. A great swordsman once said it should be the goal of any martial artist to solve problems before it comes to blows. I hope this helps you...


  • Sounds like you have a pretty good attitude toward your art. Only fight when you feel someone is trying to hurt you. Hurt them first. I hate fighting.


  • If it's a friend you can always try a good solid block to inflict some pain but not injure them. I stopped one guy this way.

    Be prepared that i might escilate things though, however nothing says stop like feeling you just got hit in the arm with a bat.


  • I can poke myself in the eye, but I don't want to.


  • I'm sure your friends are just messing with you. Most all guys punch or kick or smack their friends. Not hard enough to do damage, but more as a 'hey, whats up' kind of thing. They are also probably doing it because you are a Martial Artist, again, not to hurt you but basically to say...i can hit a Martial Artist and not get killed. If it bothers you, tell them to knock it off.


  • Learn to take a person to the ground and immobilize him there without hurting him. I train Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu and it is great for that, but you can learn similar skills in a number of arts. Since you study tkd, perhaps your teacher can point you to a korean version of aikido, or hwarangdo. You don't have to mess someone up to demonstrate your ability to control conflict.







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